Birthday Reflections
Okay, I'll admit that this did creep up behind me and I meant to post this a lot sooner. But in all seriousness, I had a feeling I needed to write or film something regarding my birthday. The interesting thing is that I think that I have achieved a lot of what I wanted. I started a career in something cool that I actually enjoy (tech, cybersecurity to be exact). I made videos about it. I published a book about it. I got married to someone I could genuinely spend the rest of my life with.
I remember when I was in my late twenties, I made a video passing down what little life advice I had to anyone watching. And while I would love to make another video, I'm just going to write. Why? I know I have the time to make video, and maybe I will. But right now I'm really into writing and journaling, be it privately or on this blog. But I'm going to go ahead and take whatever old people stuff I've learned and try to young-splain it. It's not like anyone's going to be actively looking for my blog. Maybe it's to my younger, time traveling self. But in all honesty, it's fun. I like writing And if I was a little less self-conscious I would make more videos. Maybe I will. Who knows?
Write more. Read more.
As I mentioned before, I think writing down how I feel, what I'm feeling and why is a fantastic way to manage emotions. And while I don't consider it a substitute for therapy, it's certainly cheaper and a great thing to do when there is no shrink in sight. And to better articulate your thoughts, the best way to do so is to read books that do a better job in conveying thoughts, emotions and ideas. Even with a fiction book, the way authors can communicate something that doesn't exist in your tangible reality is nothing short of a superpower.
As the anti-doomscrolling movement is cranking into high gear, analog activities are "so in" right now. In all honesty, I'm totally for it. After a stint of trying to find a good therapist and managing my ADHD, I found that getting lost in a good book, comic book or writing my books made me feel the most in control I've ever been. Weirdly enough, it seems to help me the most in my ADHD. I'm not going to bother to explain the science behind it, because I'm sure that it is something beyond my understanding. The point is, it works for me and maybe it'll work for you.
The same thing can be said for reading. Boring, analytical books that tend to drone on are unironically FANTASTIC to tame a racing mind. There are some instances where I feel a state of mental paralysis or anxiety where everything's happening too fast and I can't do anything about it or keep up. A boring book that barely keeps my attention is the perfect puddle of molasses that helps me stop in my tracks. Kind of why I love my eink device so much. At some point, when you get into the rhythm of reading, It's starting to become my "safe space" of sorts. It's soothing in the same way a comfort watch film or an amazing album hits. I never thought I'd say this call but I just might start buying print versions of the book really enjoy just so I can open them up and feel the same joy I do when I fire up my e-reader.
Gaming > Scrolling
You probably have plenty of people who tell you that video games are a waste of time. While they may have a justification in the proper context, there's some folks that baselessly parrot the "games=lazy" argument while consuming content that exists to consume you. Scrolling TikTok, switching their brains off for Love Island or even obliging themselves to the next Star Wars film because it has their favorite character.
Let me start off by saying not all video games are healthy. Some video games build their mechanics with the intent on manipulating you and monopolizing your attention. And I'm not just talking about modern games today (that's another rant for later), old school games were guilty of this as well. When I was a kid, The genre of arcade games was created to describe The old quarter munchers at the local arcade. Games that exist to satisfy those small hits of dopamine only cared about the quarters in your pocket, a short-term thrill that disappeared the moment you saw the words Game Over. While video games are capable of being so much more, some things never change.
But one thing I realized is that I felt far more satisfied and engaged when I was pouring more time in a deep, satisfying narrative or problem solving different challenges. At one point, I realized I cried during a few video games in my childhood. Maybe I should talk about that a later day.
Talk to family and friends more.
This one has been the hardest for me, but I think about it a lot more. It's a little daunting to just pick up the phone and start a conversation out of nowhere. Even if you've known that person for a long time, it might be awkward if you start calling because you're worried you might give the impression that the conversation is a transaction. Don't worry, Even if The person you are calling thinks you are reaching out for something in return, just simply don't. Just call to make sure that person is alive. I've done that before, and it is an awkward two minutes that feels like 20. But it's worth it a lot later.
Take (and frame) more photos.
No, I'm not talking about a visually esthetic lunch, I'm talking about pictures of your life. Think of the last Vista you saw that made you want to stand still. Think of a pot you made in a pottery class. Remember an enjoyable dinner that you had with a person in your life. Print it out on any random sheet of paper, stick it on your fridge, and think nothing of it that day. It may look a little janky but it really does Improve your outlook and helps you look back more fondly on prior memories.
Learn a second language.
A little advice I'd give to every deadbeat, NEET, or aimless vago in life is to learn a second language. If you cannot afford a certification, go back to school, can't find a job or friends, learning a second language has nothing but benefits.
If you were looking for someone to have a platonic, romantic or sexual relationship with, learning a second language not only increases your dating pool but makes you extremely desirable. In my years of doing shit in order to impress potential sexual partners, nothing helped me more than learning Spanish, French and Arabic. If you're stuck in your job, a second language really could open the door to and offer you weren't aware of prior. Even in the age of Google Translate, It is amazing how many people still search and prefer a human translator. I almost planned on hiring a human translator for my wedding, and I'm willing to bet that if you can dress yourself up nicely, you could do the exact same thing with zero prior experience. And in all honesty, There are countless resources that extend beyond Duolingo that can truly advance you and get into learning a different language.
Take care of a living being
A dog. A cat. A person in your life. A person you made. A plant. Anything that'll get you waking up early and checking your watch so you don't end at a random house party at 2am with people you don't know. When you care for them, you start to see them care for you. Not out of obligation, but because they want to. They like you. And whenever you feel like shit you start to realize that you got a little more waiting and relying on you in life.
I mean, other than that I'm sure you heard the same stuff on reddit and that sunscreen poem that was on MTV.
- Floss.
- Wear sunscreen.
- Work out.